Don't Let Go
by Lady Henrietta
Summary: Post Crossroads Part II: Adama wants to fix the problem that the trial made of his and Roslin's relationship, but will she let him, or will her pride win?
1. To be near you

Disclaimer: Battlestar Galactica belongs to Ronald D. Moore and the Sci-Fi channel. The lyrics are from Anna Nalick's "Wreck of the Day," in ChemicalAttraction's montage.

Don't Let Go

Part 1: To be near you

They Cylons had lost the Colonial fleet in the Ionian nebula because the particles gave off false readings once the fleet had entered. It had been a long hard week and Lee's claim of seeing Kara stop by his Viper and then begin to lead them had stirred up considerable confusion. He and his father were still not on the best of terms, but Lee had managed to rejoin the pilots. Admiral Adama had a serious rift of a different sort to repair first, which led him to Life Station.

_Driving away from the wreck of the day  
And the light's always red in the rear-view_

President Roslin had just received her second round of the new treatment for her cancer that Dr. Cottle had developed. She was resting on a bed, still in her sky-blue blouse and black skirt, her jacket draped over the end of the bed, when she heard voices. Then the doctor moved her curtain aside.

_Desperately close to a coffin of hope  
I'd cheat destiny just to be near you_

"I told him that you didn't want visitors, that you'd be out again in a few hours, but he insisted." Then he spoke over his shoulder. "Now don't go irritating my patient."

Cottle stepped aside to reveal Adama and then the doctor headed back to his desk. The admiral closed the curtain and took a seat in the rickety chair near her bed. "Admiral, whatever you have to say can wait. As you can see, this is not a good time," she spat.

_If this is giving up, then I'm giving up  
If this is giving up, then I'm giving up, giving up  
On love, On love_

Adama took a deep breath, studying her for a moment. "No, it can't. You need to know that I agree with you, about Baltar. But that was the reason that I had to make the decision for acquittal in the end. I had an already biased opinion when I was supposed to be a non-biased judge. Lee was right, at least in the point that we were trying to dump everything on one man. It wouldn't have made things any better if we'd airlocked him."

_Driving away from the wreck of the day  
And I'm thinking 'bout calling on Jesus_

Roslin glared at him. What he had just said cut into her soul for a moment and she swallowed to prevent tears. "Do you have any idea what he did to us on New Caprica? Do you?" she demanded.

"Do you remember the dance?" he asked, referring to the boxing match. "You have no idea how much I've been kicking myself since we had to leave you down there. But I didn't come here to talk about New Caprica."

She continued to glare at him. "No, you came down here to tell me that I was wrong and that you've turned against me. I can't believe you'd do-"

"Giving him the trial was your idea," he pointed out.

"Just leave," she snapped. What he heard through the anger though was how hurt she was.

_'Cause love doesn't hurt so I know I'm not falling in love  
I'm just falling to pieces_

"Not 'til you hear me out," he countered. "The decision was for the sake of the fleet, and it proved that our legal system, though flawed, still works. But I didn't betray you, and I don't intend to just leave you alone in this."

_And if this is giving up then I'm giving up  
If this is giving up then I'm giving up, giving up  
On love, On love_

She would not look at him, too proud to admit that the trial had been as much or more her fault than his. "You've said your peace, Admiral. I'll get back to you at our next meeting. I don't feel up to pity."

_And maybe I'm not up for being a victim of love  
When all my resistance will never be distance enough_

He reached out and took her hand. She tried to pull it back, but his grip only increased. "It's not pity, and there's no 'Admiral' this time. I didn't come here to be the 'Admiral.' I came here as 'Bill,' and I didn't come to argue with the president. I came to tell 'Laura' that she's not alone," his voice had dropped to a whisper.

_Driving away from the wreck of the day  
And it's finally quiet in my head_

_Driving alone, finally on my way home to the comfort of my bed_

"Do you mean that?" when she questioned him that time, the anger was not there.

_And if this is giving up, then I'm giving up  
If this is giving up, then I'm giving up, giving up  
On love, On love_

"Yes. I made you a promise on Kobol, that we were in this together. I still mean that, and the truth is that I can't do this without you. Please don't let a disagreement cloud your judgment and shoot down our friendship. I'm still the same person you called a week ago when you wanted someone to yell at you so that you'd get out of bed," he conveyed as he stroked the back of her hand with his thumb.


	2. Mending fences

Disclaimer: Battlestar Galactica belongs to Ronald D. Moore and the Sci-Fi channel. The lyrics are from the song, "Everything Changes," by Staind, used in a montage by Hollywonka.

Part 2: Mending fences

She was still reluctant to trust him again. "You still chose sides, and whether you intended to or not, you let a schizophrenic maniac back into the fleet to do who-knows-what," she reminded, looking away at the curtain.

_If you just walked away  
What could I really say?  
Would it matter anyway?  
Would it change how you feel?_

He swallowed hard. "Maybe in a trial like that, there was no right decision. Laura, maybe you think you can manage alone from here on out, but I can't."

_I am the mess you chose  
The closet you cannot close,  
The devil in you I suppose  
'Cause the wounds never heal._

"You may have to do this alone anyway," she whispered. Her expression was unreadable, but then she closed her eyes as silent tears began to creep down her cheeks. He did not hesitate to move from sitting in the chair to sitting next to her on the bed. She continued crying as he helped her sit up. Then he held her in his arms as she cried on his uniform, careful not to disturb the IV attached to her other hand.

_But everything changes  
If I could turn back the years  
If you could learn to forgive me  
Then I could learn to feel,_

"Shh, shh, we'll get through this, Laura," he told her. The rumble of his voice comforted her.

_Sometimes the things I say  
In moments of disarray  
Succumbing to the games we play  
To make sure that it's real._

"Bill, don't let go," she stated. He held her closer until her tears stopped. She looked up at him slowly and he watched her, making sure that she was alright. "You really want to be here with me for my treatments?"

He smiled warmly and kissed her forehead. "Yes."

_When it's just me and you.  
Who knows what we could do.  
If we can just make it through  
The toughest part of the day._

Cottle pulled back the curtain. "I see you two aren't fighting anymore. Now get out before you confuse me more than you have already."

Adama and Roslin exchanged smiles and the admiral stood. "We're going. I'll be here for her next treatment though."

"Then I'm afraid you'll have to sit in a chair for that part," Cottle stated before leaving. Adama looked over at Roslin and flashed her sheepish grin.

_But everything changes  
If I could turn back the years  
If you could learn to forgive me  
Then I could learn to feel,_

She sat up and chuckled quietly. "He thinks that he has to scold us like school children."

Adama offered her his hand and she took it. "I just hope he doesn't dare tell us to act our age."

Then he watched her giggle as she had when they had talked about being people again. "It's as if Jack thinks that the two of us could possibly get into trouble."

He chuckled heartily and offered her his arm. As they exited Life Station, he leaned closer to her and whispered, "That's because he knows us too well."

She cocked her head to one side and eyed him incredulously, trying to discern whether or not he was serious. He raised an eyebrow and then she smirked, shaking her head. "I need to head back to my ship. Tory has files that can't be ignored."

"I suppose I should walk you to your shuttle then," he rationalized.

When they reached the hanger, she was told that a Raptor would not be ready for ten minutes. He spoke as they waited patiently. "I just finished this interesting mystery that a friend gave me, Blood Runs at Midnight. Next week I think you should schedule time for a few hours of literary criticism."

Facing him, she grinned wryly and let a giggle slip through. "Bill Adama, don't tell me that's your pickup line. I've heard better."

He covered the hand that was holding his arm with his other hand, noticing that no one was watching them. "I've got better ones."

Their heads bent slowly toward each other. "What are you doing?" she asked in a soft voice, barely audible.

"Not letting go," he answered before his lips covered hers in a tender kiss.

_Stay here together  
And we could  
Conquer the world  
If we could  
Say that forever  
Is more than just a word._

She was blushing furiously when they finally pulled apart. "I think I could pencil a literary discussion into my schedule," she remarked before her pilot walked over to them.

The following week he led her to his quarters after her treatment. As they entered, she spotted table settings and two long candles. "Literary criticism meeting, huh? What's for lunch then?" she inquired.

He pulled a chair out for her and pointed to the dish. "I figured out how to make spaghetti from the algae."

"Impressive. And the candles?" she probed.

"My lighting's been flickering lately, so I figured on lighting candles until I can get someone over here to fix it," he replied logically. She laughed and shook her head.

_If you just walked away  
What could I really say?  
Would it matter anyway?.  
It wouldn't change how you feel._

As they began to eat, she spotted the book that he had mentioned earlier sitting on the edge of the table. His gaze followed hers and then returned to his food. She swirled some of the greenish spaghetti around her fork before eating it. "What did you think of the book?"

Her face looked warm and soft in the candle light, as it had so long ago when he had invited her to dinner along with Saul and Ellen Tigh. At the memory of it, part of him felt guilty for dragging her to such a disaster of a dinner. Today's simple gesture was partly making up for it, he hoped. She had asked him something and he had to glance over at the book again before the question registered.

"It was a good read with only a few complaints. The confusion over the fatal wound and the murder weapon was intriguing. The detective had an unusual approach to the case, but she did a good job solving the mystery. I liked her, but her partner whined too much. And then there was the villain. He was an interesting character, but I really think that he would have seemed more believable if he hadn't been described with that stereotypical mustache," Adama remarked, taking a sip of water.

Roslin giggled and nodded in agreement, trying to slurp an errant piece of spaghetti. "The mustache was a little over the top. The one you grew a while ago was much better. I'm glad you liked the detective though. My favorite character was the wise shipyard foreman who kept giving her advice. I think he and the detective would've made a good couple," she admitted.

_When it's just me and you.  
Who knows what we could do.  
If we can just make it through  
The toughest part of the day._

"And I thought you read books for the mystery. If Id' known you were that much of a romantic, I'd have put on some music," he joked. Only as she looked into his eyes, she realized that he might not be joking.

"Is this a date, or isn't it?" she questioned, setting her fork down in the empty dish.

His right hand came to rest on top of her left. "What would you say if it was?"

(My thanks to Kiyani, LavenderKate, miss mcGonagle, carolann, Sammy-Girl001, and Mariel3 for reviewing :D)

(Regarding the content of the book, it was speculation on my part).


	3. Give me your hand

Disclaimer: Battlestar Galactica belongs to Ronald D. Moore and the Sci-Fi channel. The lyrics are from Aqualung's "Brighter Than Sunshine," and a montage by monsie09.

Part 3: Give me your hand

She loved the sound of his voice. It was the most comforting thing to hear over the phone. She closed her eyes for a moment, remembering when she had called him to tell her to get out of bed. When she opened her eyes, the mischievous grin was unmistakable. "Then I would ask you what comes next," she replied softly.

The temperature in the room had just shot up ten degrees. He brought her hand up to his lips and kissed the top of it. Then he kissed the inside of her wrist before he stood. She watched with curiosity as he managed to find music to play. The melody was a slow, old fashioned folk song with a guitar, but she thought that it was a perfect song to dance to.

He smiled and extended a hand to her. "Would you dance with me?"

_I never understood before  
I never knew what love was for  
My heart was broke, my head was sore  
What a feeling_

She grinned back and accepted his hand. "I'd like that."

His left arm wound itself around her waist while his right hand held her left. Her right hand rested on his shoulder. They danced closer and she closed her eyes, relishing the moment. Her green eyes met his cobalt-blue ones as she slowly opened them. "And what do you call this?" she whispered hoarsely.

_Tied up in ancient history  
I didn't believe in destiny  
I look up you're standing next to me  
What a feeling_

Leaning close to her right cheek, he whispered in her ear, his warm breath sending shivers down her spine. "It's whatever you want it to be."

_What a feeling in my soul  
Love burns brighter than sunshine  
Brighter than sunshine  
Let the rain fall, I don't care  
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine  
Suddenly you're mine  
And it's brighter than sunshine_

He had left the ball in her quart. She replayed the events of the past few weeks in her mind, never taking her eyes off him. The trial had been difficult for them both, but she had pushed him away. Since Kobol he had been at her side. They had their disagreements, but she realized that their biggest opposition was not the press, the fleet, or even Tory. Their biggest problem was her pride and reluctance to back down from questionable decisions. She had promised herself that she would do whatever it took to save humanity, but as Adama held her in his arms, she realized the one thing that she had tried to steel herself against: she loved him.

_I never saw it happening  
I'd given up and given in  
I just couldn't take the hurt again  
What a feeling_

Licking her lips, she was finally able to find her voice. "Thank you for this afternoon, Bill. I need to say something before I let my pride get in the way again. I can't do this alone either. I need you. Can you forgive me?"

_I didn't have the strength to fight  
Suddenly you seemed so right  
Me and you  
What a feeling_

Instead of answering her with words, he pulled her closer and kissed her tenderly. He was worried that she would pull back as he looked into her eyes again. She grabbed him by his jacket and kissed him soundly. He stroked her back and she moaned as he deepened the kiss.

_What a feeling in my soul  
Love burns brighter than sunshine  
It's brighter than sunshine  
Let the rain fall, I don't care  
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine  
Suddenly you're mine_

When they parted to breathe, she glanced at the clock. "Drat, I've got a meeting with Zarek in half an hour to discuss the Sagittarian issues again."

Adama would have let her go, but neither was backing away. Her hands remained pressed against his chest, his arms around her waist. Drawing her to him again, he whispered, "Skip it," before kissing his way down her neck.

_It's brighter than the sun  
It's brighter than the sun  
It's brighter than the sun, sun, shine._

"I can't. I wouldn't know what kind of excuse to tell Zarek," she replied, tilting her head to the other side to give him better access.

_Love will remain a mystery  
But give me your hand and you will see  
Your heart is keeping time with me_

Knowing that she was right, and that one of them had to back away, he took the initiative and stepped out of the embrace. "Sounds like a meeting that I should attend too," he mentioned, offering her his arm.

_What a feeling in my soul  
Love burns brighter than sunshine  
It's brighter than sunshine  
Let the rain fall, I don't care  
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine  
Suddenly you're mine_

She nodded and accepted it. "Actually I think that both of us are supposed to be there," she stated as they blew out the candles from lunch. "Thank you for letting me forget the world for a few hours," she added as they exited is quarters.

(My thanks to miss mcGonagle, carolann, Mariel3, Kiyani, and LavenderKate for reviewing :D)


	4. Peace of mind

Disclaimer: Battlestar Galactica belongs to Ronald D. Moore and the Sci-Fi channel. Lyrics are from Snow Patrol's "Chasing Cars."

Chapter 4: Peace of mind

A few hours later they returned, sinking into the couch. "I remember now why I let you handle most of the meetings with Zarek. That was one of the most boring meetings I've ever been to," Adama commented.

_We'll do it all  
Everything  
On our own_

Roslin had slipped her shoes off and curled up on one end of the couch. "Be glad that you don't deal with that man on a regular basis. He's either scheming to do something for the next election, or he's trying to bore me out of office."

_We don't need  
Anything  
Or anyone_

Adama chuckled and reached for her hand. She smiled over at him, turning her head to the side, and in that moment he knew that their friendship was back. He thought back to what had happened earlier that afternoon and met her eyes. The look she was giving him seemed to match his question. Then he spotted that infamous spark of mischief. She leaned toward him as he neared her and they met halfway to kiss gently.

_If I lay here  
If I just lay here  
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?_

He pulled back reluctantly and touched her face because he had to know. "I want to pick this up where we left off before the meeting, but not if it isn't what you want."

_I don't quite know  
How to say  
How I feel_

She gave him a slow grin that seemed to radiate her answer. "I think that no matter where this conversation goes, you'd better lock your door."

It felt good to laugh with her as he followed her suggestion. When he turned back, she was standing, though still shoeless. "You've got something you want to say," he observed.

_Those three words  
Are said too much  
They're not enough_

"Bill," she paused and reached for his hands. "No matter what we've fought about, from Kobol to that pilot, and from Hera to Baltar, we've had each other to lean on. I almost cost us that. When I push you away, I feel like everything around me collapses. I want to make you a promise. I don't know if I can keep it, but I have to try. I promise not to let conflicts and ideological disagreements interrupt our relationship."

_If I lay here  
If I just lay here  
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?_

He pulled her into a hug and held her for a while. She looked up to meet his eyes and then they kissed again. Each seemed to be searching the other in order to feel whole again. Her hands fiddled with the buttons of his jacket. She broke the kiss and he raised an eyebrow.

_Forget what we're told  
Before we get too old  
Show me a garden that's bursting into life_

"Your jacket has too many buttons," she remarked.

_Let's waste time  
Chasing cars  
Around our heads_

Grinning at her, he captured her lips with his in a kiss that seemed to light candles under her skin. He undid the buttons of her blouse one by one as she managed to unbutton and slide his jacket off. His lips caressed her neck again as she ran her nails over his back. Finally she looked into his eyes again, noting that he was still questioning the reality of the situation.

_I need your grace  
To remind me  
To find my own_

"Laura, is this-"

"Yes, Bill, it is."

_If I lay here  
If I just lay here  
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?_

He scooped her up into his arms and brought her over to his rack. They blended together in a harmony of sensations. Tomorrow and yesterday no longer mattered. Only the present mattered, and in the present this moment that they had together. They fell asleep entangled and holding each other closely.

_Forget what we're told  
Before we get too old  
Show me a garden that's bursting into life__  
_

Morning came and Adama became aware that something was different before he opened his eyes. Blinking, he noticed that he was still holding Roslin. He stroked her back gently and whispered her name. "Laura, Laura, it's morning."

She stirred and slowly opened her eyes. Then she grinned at him sleepily, still in the fog of whatever dream she might have been having. He could not resist and kissed her gently. She giggled and eyed him incredulously. "In all honesty, I think I like waking up like this. Albeit, pajamas would be advisable, but this isn't so bad."

He chuckled at the teasing grin she was giving him. "If I'd know you were the kind of person who wakes up smiling, I would've found some other excuse to have a sleep-over."

_All that I am  
All that I ever was  
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see_

Wrapping part of the blanket around herself, she sat up, looking over her shoulder to see where her clothes were before turning back to him. "So you admit to bringing me here in an attempt to seduce me?" she probed with a half-smile.

"I asked you here for a literary discussion. If I'd wanted to seduce you, we would've skipped lunch," he replied.

"We did skip dinner though," she reminded before doubling over in a fit of giggles. When she finally took a deep breath to regain some of her composure, he slid a hand under her chin and kissed her. "I really should take a shower," she stated when he backed away.

"You do that and I'll handle breakfast," he offered.

Gathering up her clothes, she headed for the shower. Later after she emerged, he took his shower while she ate what was an attempt at algae cereal. He joined her after a while, glancing at his watch. "We can still sneak you out of here before too many people are out in the corridor," he suggested.

She thought for a minute, sipping her tea. "Actually if I just stay here until after our briefing in a few hours, it'll look like I arrived early this morning."

He grinned back at her. "I like your plan better." Looking into his own tea, he was silent for a while. "Any regrets?"

Standing, she walked over to him and touched his cheek. "Just one," she began as she stroked his cheek with her thumb, "that I was angry at you for so long. I wasted time being angry."

_I don't know where  
Confused about how as well  
Just know that these things will never change for us at all_

"And now?" he asked as he turned his head to kiss her palm.

She bent closer to kiss him affectionately and he set his own cup down. "Now I want nothing more than to wake up with you every morning. I love you, Bill Adama."

Pulling her into his lap, he wrapped his arms around her securely. "I love you too, Laura. We'll find a way to make this work and keep it secret at the same time."

"You do realize that we'll probably argue again," she mentioned as she rested her head against his shoulder.

"Even if we do, I still won't let go," he remarked as he tilted her chin up to kiss her.

_If I lay here  
If I just lay here  
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?_

Fin….

(My thanks to Mariel3, miss mcGonagle, Kiyani, carolann, and Sammy-Girl001 for reviewing :D)


End file.
